On the author tip, I learned today that my first lil book MY DAUGHTER’S BOYFRIEND has finally earned out its advance and I will be getting a royalty check. A nice unexpected chunk of change. This is absolutely one of the best things that can happen to a writer. And one thing I’ve never wanted to do is cause my publisher to lose money because I wasn’t able to earn out my advance. But thank God, folks have been buying the book, especially the paperback edition and it’s now in its second printing. So again, thank you to everyone that has been so supportive of MDB. I have really enjoyed visiting a few Houston area book clubs — these ladies make me laugh sooo hard. Like The Sistah Hood Book Review, Brownstone Book Club, and others. We have so much fun and I love hearing the ladies diss my characters and talk about what they did, and how Tracey was so hated etc., It is amazing how readers look so far into a book in a way that an author doesn’t intend and they pick up on things that even I hadn’t thought about. Soooo, I am counting my blessings today — and to me, earning royalties is a nice bonus because I try not to worry about how my book is selling. I don’t hustle (shhh, don’t tell anybody), I try not to get caught up. I just depend on word of mouth, and pray, and que sera sera. You simply can’t control every aspect of the author life. You gotta let go of things and just enjoy each experience good or bad. And that’s what I’m doing and what I hope to continue to do for the rest of my life.

Academy Award Winner Hilary Swank and her hubby Chad Lowe are separating — another couple standing in the snaking line of the Hollywood Divorce Court. I just wonder what is it about Hollywood, or success perhaps, that makes it seems a relationship’s demise is inevitable. Yes, I was shocked when Nick and Jessica split up (I really hate believing the tabloids and I rejected all their juicy little know-it-all rumors). I wasn’t suprised by the break up of Gabrielle Union and her husband. And like most others, yeah, I was shocked that Brad Pitt would leave Jennifer. What’s the world coming to? And God forbid, the February issue of Ebony Magazine just hit the street – the issue where they proclaim the 10 hottest black couples. I really detest that type of story because a lot of times we don’t know what is going on behind closed doors when it comes to a famous couple’s relationship. We are in awe of their love, we envy how he treats her like a queen, but is he beating her like a fiend when no one is looking? Oh well, I guess that’s the point of this all. Never assume that a couple is truly happily in love. Next thing you know, you’ll be reading about their busting up in some newspaper. It happens!

Author Nikki Woods (Easier Said Than Done) tagged me about my writing/reading life. My assignment is to provide interesting facts about this aspect of my life.

WRITING

1. I always have a Super Thesarus right next to me whenever I write.
2. For me a lot of the writing involves thinking. Hearing dialogue in my head, pondering characters.
3. I’m probably one of the few folks that doesn’t go by that ‘write every day’ motto.
4. I like writing very early, 5am, when it’s totally quiet in the house.
5. There’s definitely an inner critic that likes to follow me around and whisper things in my ear.
6. I never try to be like someone else. Like in the early days I would pretend like I was so-and-so. What would he do if he were writing this scene? Trust me, it doesn’t work, trying to be someone else. So from now on, I’m just me. I write how I write, allow what is inside to come out, and know that I can only be the best Cydney Rax; that’s my job.
7. I typically do not listen to music while writing a boo, especially when doing the first draft.
8. It takes me two years to work on projects. I’ll have an idea years before I actually get to write the book; I have never ‘thrown’ a book together.
9. When I write I feel like a reader, not a writer, meaning I am surprised, disgusted, intrigued by my characters’ actions, just like a reader would be.

READING LIFE

1. Man oh man, the year 2005 has been the year that I DIDN’T read alot of books. In past years, I could get to 3-4 books per month. Now it’s like one book every few months. This year has been incredibly busy, distracting, difficult for me to concentrate. Awful. Once I finish up on my 2nd novel (My Husband’s Girlfriend) I plan to read quite a few books in late December early January.
2. You know, even though I don’t read a lot of novels, nothing keeps me from newspapers and magazines. I love Essence, Today’s Black Woman, Sister2Sister, Charisma, US Weekly, People (Love entertainment news), Jet, Ebony, Writer’s Digest, etc.
3. Sometimes I avoid reading other people’s manuscripts because 8 times out of 10 they have written a scene or have character names that are identical to mine and I don’t want anyone to think I’m copying their idea.
4. I miss the good old days of reading, when I was discovering some of the authors that are now quite successful. I miss going to this black bookstore called Main Street Books, when I first grew hip to black novels. I felt so very excited, like I walked right into heaven, just looking at the books with wide eyes and happy to know that there were a lot of black authors out there that I didn’t know about.
5. I get tired of reading my own material. When you write books and work on them for months and years, by the time it comes out, your mind is really focused on the NEXT book.

Okay, this is a post that might make some people uncomfortable, but I LOVE these type of topics. If you want to know who I am, read this blog. You see, I attend a wonderful church in Houston, and lately the series topic is called, IN GOD WE TRUST. And the pastor asks, do we really trust in God, or is it something that’s just inscribed on dollar bills. Now, the reason why I really want to bring up this topic of believing in God is because I was looking at the news yesterday. And, as usual, a group of atheists are demanding that the government remove the words IN GOD WE TRUST off of our currency. I got mad. Turned off the TV. And pretty much forgot about it. But today, I am thinking, pondering within myself. Why do some people refuse to believe in God? Why do they expend so much energy claiming that He doesn’t exist. And that when people pray, they’re wasting their time, talking to the air, etc. One part of me feels sorry for unbelievers. And, to me an unbeliever is different from someone who is weak in faith. A weak in faith person believes in God (in general), but maybe they don’t practice their faith on a daily basis. God isn’t consuming their heart or mind, but they believe in the Higher Power. On the other hand, an atheist is a person that believes in his heart that there is no God. These people are considered FOOLS according to the Bible. Fools is a strong word.

Now, I for one KNOW that God is everything He says He is. For me it is a JOY to know that the very God that created heaven, earth, everything in it, including man, is alive. He talks to me, he answers prayer, he delivers me when I’m in trouble, he comforts me when I feel afraid, etc. It is a real, powerful, life-changing relationship and I love having that. And I wonder, why wouldn’t everyone want this? This is sooo cool. It’s fun. Because true believers in God have a special relationship; we have awesome benefits that can’t be matched by any Fortune 500 company. I mean, I get chills when I realize all the great things we have by trusting in God. (Eg. I will never leave you nor forsake you; casting all your care on Him for he careth for you;I can do exceedingly abundantly above all that you can ask or think; My God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory). And it goes on and on and on.

The fact that we can enjoy all these great benefits brings me to this — some people, atheists, refuse to believe. Why? Because belief means responsibility. It means accountability. In a way, I understand that. No one wants to be accountable these days. We want to do what we want to do, and blame everything else when stuff won’t go our way. If we kill someone and it’s captured on videotape, we plead Not Guilty. If we lie and claim we are victim of Hurricane Katrina just to get a FEMA check, we say we needed that money. If we fall and slip on a banana outside Wal-Mart, we file a multi-million dollar lawsuit (except people don’t realize until later that we planted the alleged banana).

If we are a kid that doesn’t something our parents don’t like, we lie, or admit we did wrong, but who the heck wants to get a spanking, or be put on a two-week punishment? Very few. So in a way, this is how an atheist thinks. He thinks that if he refuses to believe in God, no matter what, then he won’t be accountable. He can live his life however he chooses without consequence. Ha ha. I wish that were so. The laws of God are like this – whether you believe in His existence or not, He is. You can refuse to believe till your brain explores. Nothing changes who God is. Kinda like what goes up, must come down. That’s a law. And even if you refuse your best to believe it, it still IS.

I don’t know, call me crazy but I think it’s much easier to give in and believe in God and find out how awesome He really is, than to spend your entire life doding Him, fighting against Him, just to take your last breath and, well you know the rest. Losing my soul isn’t worth it. My soul is too valuable to waste my time hoping that something as critical as believing in God is just a fairy tale.

Now, MTV, that’s a fairy tale. People Magazine, the Weather Channel, the Lotto, and all these other things that people put their trust in, those kind of things are nothing, you can’t stand on them. They won’t save you. Bragging about your $5 million dollar party on South Beach, bragging about how you sold a million books, being proud of the fact that you own 25 buildings in Manhatten (al la Trump), none of that means a thing when you’re about to meet your Maker.

I don’t know about you but I want to go to heaven when I die. Nothing else is acceptable. LOL. So on this day, for the rest of my life, I choose to believe, I want to believe and even if I do something I shouldn’t do (and that will happen), I can let the Lord reprimand me now instead of finding out what the big punishment will be later on down the road.

Think about it.

Okay,

If you are with a guy, either married or living together, how should the bills be split? Are couples still doing things the old-fashioned way (he pays rent, car notes, major bills); she may buy clothes, groceries, setting money aside for emergencies. What if she makes more money than he does? Does that automatically mean it’s her job to foot the majority of the bills? What if both folks want new cars? Do you pay your own car insurance and car notes? Help a sista out…Times is hard. Gas is high. And a loaf of bread don’t cost what it used to. LOL.

I was casually reading Redbook Magazine tonight and came across an article that cracked me up. Written by a sex columnist named Anka Radakovich, here in a nutshell, are her 10 intriguing discoveries about men. I’m paraphrasing what she says (don’t want to take away her credit but you can find the true article in the Oct. 2005 mag).

(I love men, don’t understand them, they drive me crazy, and I thought you’d get a kick out of this).

1. Men can’t resist the tease – In other words he loves to be visually stimulated through strip teases; one thing can definitely lead to another.
2. Men are big kids and proud of it – No matter how old they get, don’t they resort to childish behaviour. Cute, but childish? They like buying toys — so they can play with them instead of handing the toys over to their children.
3. Men can’t help but stare at other women – I guess this is good, if you’re a woman that likes to be the center of attention. Being admired by ogling eyes is good for the ego – and yes, married men will stare you down too so don’t be shocked. And they probably enjoy being stared at too — as long as the stare doesn’t say “Eww you are so gross.” The article states that even male gorillas stare at female gorillas. So staring females down just comes naturally I guess. So if you catch a man staring at you, just say, “Eww you remind me of a gorilla” and watch him give you a blank look.
4. Men would love to cheat – Now I believe this one. Most men want a wife and an affair. Isn’t that ideal? They would be willing to cheat more as long as they are guaranteed not to get caught. Well, who wouldn’t want this? Surprisingly, some men just won’t be interested even if given the perfect opportunity.
5. Men are perverts – Hmm. Pervert. Sexually freaky. Secretly unhibited. FREAKS.
6. Men want us to worship them – Okay, this is true, even if the guy screws up big time, he wants you to think he is a genius. In other words, LIE!
7. Men love oral sex – I guess men want their fairshare of the good times too, huh?
8. Men don’t take hints – Now this is the one thing I know for a fact. I don’t care how old the man is, what kind of degree he has, has many sisters he has, he is going to be very dumb when it comes to taking a hint. You will get very discouraged if you try to slyly suggest something to a man and expect him to get it. In other words, do yourself a favor-S P E L L it out. Otherwise you are wasting your time and he’ll wonder why you have such a rotten attitude. It’s maddening but reality. They just don’t get it sometimes.
9. Men love their penises – Hmm, maybe this fascination starts when they’re toddlers and are discovering different body parts. And I don’t care how small the man is, he thinks he has it going on. Sometimes attitude and confidence make up for other shortcomings huh?
10. Men don’t get Valentine’s Day – most men won’t get it. They underestimate the importance of a woman feeling valued through him going out of his way to buy her a card, flowers, box of candy, etc. A man thinks it’s silly but a woman takes his gestures as a measure of his thoughtfulness and concern about her. I’ve seen so many men, with frowns on their faces, scouring the greeting card aisle every Feb. 14th – and he’s probably buying a card so he won’t have to hear his wife (or girlfriend, or mistresses) mouth.

http://www.redbookmag.com